Subject: Pure Physics
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it Will Not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
Different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls In Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell
to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader
Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that,
it will be a cold day In Hell before I sleep with you",
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and
again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving
the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
The following is an actual question given on a University of
Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound"
that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which
is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic
absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law gas
cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in
time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving
into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to
Hell, it Will Not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the
Different Religions that exist in the world today. Most of these
religions state that if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these
religions and since people do not belong to more than one
religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the
number of souls In Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look
at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law
states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell
to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand
proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell
will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the rate at which
souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop
until Hell freezes over.
So which is it
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa, (Cheerleader
Captain and Class Valedictorian) during my Freshman year that,
it will be a cold day In Hell before I sleep with you",
take into account the fact that I slept with her last night and
again this morning, then number 2 must be true, and thus I am
sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over
The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen
over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct...leaving only Heaven, and thereby proving
the existence of a divine being which explains why, Teresa kept
shouting "Oh my God!!!"
THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A."
