funny joke

[warriorspeed350]

On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95 year old grandmother and comfort her.

When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday morning."

Horrified, Katie told her grandmother that 2 people nearly 100 years old having sex would surely be asking for trouble.

"Oh no, my dear, " replied granny. "Many years ago, realizing our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm. Nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the Ding and out on the Dong."

She paused, wiped away a tear and then continued, "And if that damned ice cream truck hadn't come along, he'd still be alive today!"

 

[warriorspeed350]

heres another

I knew a blonde that was so stupid that.......

* she called me to get my phone number.

* she spent 20 minutes looking at the orange juice box because it said "concentrate."

* she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.

*she tried to put M&M's in alphabetical order.

*she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

*she tried to drown a fish.

*she thought a quarterback was a refund.

*she got locked in a grocery store and starved to death.

*she tripped over a cordless phone.

*she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.

*she asked for a price check at the Dollar Store.

*she studied for a blood test.

*she thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats.

*when she heard that 90% of all crimes occur around the home, she moved.

*when she missed the 44 bus, she took the 22 bus twice instead.

*when she took you to the airport and saw a sign that said "Airport Left" she turned around and went home

 

[yamarider]

lmao, that first one is great

 

[dshiznit]

haha yea the first and last r pretty good

 

[yakuza]

Four nuns die in a car crash. At the gates to heaven the first one is asked "sister, have you ever touched a mans penis?" The nun replies "Oh dear, I once touched one with this finger." She was told to dip her finger in the holy water and god would forgive her sin, which she did. The second nun was asked "Sister, have you ever touched a mans penis?" The second nun replied "Oh dear, I once held one in this hand". The second nun got the same reply, to dip her hand in the holy water and pass thru the gates, which she did. The fourth nun abruptly shoves her way past the third nun and when asked "Sister, what's the big hurry there's plenty of room for everyone?" she replied "I want to wash my mouth out before she dips her ass in that holy water."

It's old but still good...lol.

 

[97warriorrider]

LOL..all three are great..lmao

 

[warriorspeed350]

hahahahaha thats some funny ****

 

[teamexileracing]

hahahahah lmfao all of them are hillarious, ive never herd of some of those blond ones. The nun one and the first one are the best by far thought. hahahaha im gunna tell those at school tomarrow.

 

[hotphil]

those are pretty good even know i've heard a few of em before, still make me laugh tho

 

[teamexileracing]

hahahaha told the nun one at practice today got a few laughs.