Hope it works this time. The teenage years are the hardest. Hormones, new territory, finding your way, uncertainties, doubt... Lots of things. And, women are probably more whacked out from 15-22 years of age. Once they get through college, they start to settle down some. Seems once the schooling is done, they've partied with all their friends (don't ever for a second think that a woman will put you before her friends during that 7-8 year age spread), the stress of making it through college is gone, they're actually out on their own and not living with other women in a dorm/apt/town house, etc, they start acting like grown women and not little girls anymore. Once the real world hits, and they are no longer thinking that college life is the best thing since sliced bread, it'll all come together.
You two are young, have history, are the same age... Hopefully it'll work out for you. But, in my opinion, if she does this again, kick her to the curb. If she can't make up her mind without either consulting her friend (see, there's that whole friend thing), or if she can't ignore all the negative things her friend says about your relationship (particularly if you are a great guy), then she obviously cannot think for herself, and needs more growing up then you do. I JUST went through this earlier this year with a local college girl I was dating. Now, I'm 26, she was 20. That's a pretty big age difference for people under 30 (there comes an age when most people are on "common ground"). But, all seemed to be great when we met, she seemed very different from all the college girls in our town (the local girls are ugh), and we just hit it off. I figured what the hell.
All went well for about 4 months. After 4 months the "newness" of it all started to wear off. That, coupled with her becoming busier with college because of the last semester, began to wear on us. I was becoming increasingly angry over her pretty much ignoring me, with the only excuse being, "I'm just so busy with school." Yeah well here's a reality check for you chicky, I work a 9-5 job everyday, busting my ass, head and knuckles on cars. My day starts and ends with taking care of 20+ animals. During the spring and summer months I have to keep my horses fit for competition. At any given time of the year, I have one or two "projects" to work on. Weekends, I have farm and yard work to do. Yet, I still find time to hang with my bud, ride quads, compete, AND spend time with YOU! You have your college work, friends, and volleyball teammates. Wow, SO much responsibility.
Now that you know that, once I became angry I tried to talk to her. Told her how I was feeling, why I was feeling that way, and what was bothering me. Ya know what that turned into? ALL of her "friends" telling her that I was needy, clingy, and that she should get as far away from me as she could. Those are the exact words I was told her "friends" said to her. Wow, really? None of you could even begin to offer any non-biased advice? Like, "have you actually sat down and talked with him in person?", or, "have you tried putting yourself in his shoes"? From what I was told, none of those "friends" particularly cared that I am a good guy, and although may have added stress to her day, that I was simply trying to communicate. Nevermind how many times I stepped out of MY comfort zone to hang out with her and her friends. Nevermind that I surprised her on a few occasions, in front of her friends (simply showing up out of the blue goes a LONG way). Nevermind that I was happy to give her time with her friends so she wouldn't feel smothered. None of that mattered because in the end, I am at a totally different point in my life then she, and ALL of her friends are at, in her's/theirs life(s).
Was she a great gal, yes. Did she mean me any harm, no. Is that to say she, or I, was right in what we said or did, no, we all screw up. Did she admit that she didn't do as much for me as I did for her, yes, surprisingly. But, the whole "friends" thing is a major drag during those years of a young woman's life. For some very optimistic reason, they believe that the "friends" they have in college, are "friends" they will have for life. Sorry to burst your bubble sweetheart, but, none of you are graduating at the same time. Not all of you are from the same town, state, or possibly country. You are all going in different directions once you graduate. Some will get married, some a job, some grad school, and some will be in "limbo". And, although you or your "friends" may come back that first year after graduation for the parties, once life really starts and those "friends" of yours move on, and new students that are now younger then you and that you have no common ground with are there, you are simply not going to be hanging around the campus like you used to. What they fail to see is that they are only "friends" by circumstance, and those circumstantial "friendships" are only going to be there for 1-3 MAYBE 4 years depending on who's graduating when. If you really wanted someone to be there with/for you after college, you needn't have looked further then my eyes.
The point of all that is; if the person that is supposed to know you better then anyone, can't see past the bullshit coming from her "friend's" mouth, and bases her decisions/feelings about you and your relationship solely on the opinions/experiences of others, then she just isn't going to be worth the heartache. Life is too short to have your stomach tied in knots, and to have your head, and heart, fucked with. End rant...
I know this isn't really for girlfriend issues but I'm close with quite a few of you on here so I figured I would let you guys know what's going on
